Hello friends
I took 6 weeks off work in December and Jan to figure out why I was depressed again.
Spoiler alert: it’s because I wasn’t making art.
Let me explain.
I was refusing the call to art, therefore—
another cycle of death and rebirth was needed to realign me.
But thankfully, this wasn't my first rodeo.
As I descended into the darkness, many layers of my identity were painfully stripped back.
I had to confront old familiar demons, distorted beliefs and crippling doubts lurking in my subconscious, stubborn and deeply rooted.
Like mycelium returning carbon to the Earth, I was decomposing.
Old concepts of myself, old habits, beliefs and thought patterns slowly died and became compost, enriching the soil for someone new to take root.
Interestingly, this is my first full winter in the UK in 11 years...
No doubt I've been flying south to avoid the seasonal theme of death for a long time.
But here’s the thing about decay: it’s the precursor to growth.
This process led me to rediscover to something sacred and precious:
my intense love for life, creativity, Mother Earth, and humanity.
Each time I'm invited into the shadows, I sacrifice something false in exchange for something Sacred and True; Love.
Humbled and with my heart cracked wide open, my connection to the Sacred is strengthened.
This descent was especially gnarly, it also gifted me the courage to re-devote myself to my dreams, and have another crack at being an independent artist.
I'll be honest, it's taken all my strength to get back up and start over.
But this time, something feels immeasurably different. This time, my art isn’t just for me.
It’s for Love, for Spirit, for God, The Creator, Source (whatever symbol resonates with you).
This time around, my creative projects are a devotion to the Sacred, beauty, peace, humanity and the love that holds us all together.
Through it all, I kept reading that artists make art even when they feel like shit.
So that’s what I did.
Little did I know the healing power of art.
My art practice became my candle in the shadows.
A way to keep going when I couldn’t see the path ahead.
It still is.
Before now I had taken my art for granted, the spirit of creativity has given me so much, it's time to honour this force of healing, beauty and transformation.
"Seed of Light" is the project that was birthed through this journey.
Each piece carries the intention of healing, connection, and peace.
I spend around 3 hours hand embellishing each print with gold ink, infusing it with love and Reiki energy. It’s not just a print—it’s a portal, a seed, a reminder of the light we all carry inside.
If this speaks to you, I invite you to bring a Seed of Light into your space.
This release includes three sizes, all signed, numbered, and available in limited quantities.
Thank you for witnessing my journey and for being here.
I’m so grateful for your support—it means more than words can say.
Expression is the remedy for depression.
If you are struggling with depression, addiction, or you're feeling stuck, express yourself, dance, pain, make music, sing, scream (into the forest). MOVE THAT ENERGY. EVEN IF ITS CRINGE.I promise it helps more than anything else I've tried. Keep going.
With Love,
Benjam 🩵
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